


Electicism

by CallMeLex, NehaMarie, SpitLikeALlama



Category: Code Geass, Hunter X Hunter, Multi-Fandom, Naruto, One Piece, One Punch Man, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia, 血界戦線 | Kekkai Sensen | Blood Blockade Battlefront
Genre: Adventure, Episodic Fic, F/F, F/M, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, and have fun, and they go on adventures, zoarn and selene are the MC's
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-05
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2018-11-23 20:28:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11409633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallMeLex/pseuds/CallMeLex, https://archiveofourown.org/users/NehaMarie/pseuds/NehaMarie, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpitLikeALlama/pseuds/SpitLikeALlama
Summary: The term comes from the Greek ἐκλεκτικός (eklektikos), literally "choosing the best," and that from ἐκλεκτός (eklektos), "picked out, select."Eclecticism is a conceptual approach that does not hold rigidly to a single paradigm or set of assumptions - it can sometimes seem inelegant or lacking in simplicity, and eclectics are sometimes criticized for lack of consistency in their thinking.* * *Step-siblings Zoran and Selene are in for a wild ride with strange friends, fighting, and all around absurd shenanigans.Follow the two as they learn what it means to live multiple lives.





	1. Chapter 1

_**Chapter 1** _

**Enjoy (:**

* * *

 

 

Zoran was bored. Bored of the annoying old people and the superficial teenagers and his nagging mother demanding his best behavoir - bored of the boring ocean and too bright sky and the stupid humidity.

Selene was in her element, she had slathered on sunscreen and was surrounded by copious amounts of junk food as she lounged about on a beach chair and earphones blasting whatever a teenage girl listened to. Not anime OSTs like Zoran probably.

Their parents were being a disgustingly cute couple in the open-deck pool and Zoran really needed some kind of intellectual conversation or someone to mess with. Both of those options could be found in his new step-sister.

She was really easy to find too; her mess of snack foods and the smell of sunscreen was all he needed to look for. That plus the group of guys that kept walking back and forth in front of her, trying to get her attention.

"Lemme sit," he said, waving his hands in that  _move over_  motion and putting his butt on the cushion at the same time. She had no time to react, and pretty much shoved over until he could squeeze on.

"Wow...rude." she stated, mildly offended.

"It's what I'm known for," he grinned, folding his hands behind his head, very smug.

Selene rolled her eyes but for courtesy's sake, kept one earphone out; because she wasn't a barbarian.

"I'm bored, Selene. So very bored. Entertain me?" He gave his best pouty face, but he was pretty sure he just looked constipated, but it was the effort that counted.

Selene didn't seem to think so and had a very unimpressed look on her face. She raised a single eyebrow with the exceptional facial muscle control she seemed to have before pushing her sunglasses higher up the bridge of her nose and stuffing an entire chocolate bar in her mouth in her mouth and pointedly lying back down.

"Wow,  _rude_. No, but seriously, I'm going crazy here. My mom's going insane. She won't  _shut up_  about your dad and their plans for the future and all of that and it's gross. It's genuinely disgusting and I cannot deal with this - please keep me entertained, there's no wifi and my data is shit and I can only read so many shitty fics before I throw it in the ocean." Zoran was rambling and barely pausing for breath, and it drew a pained cringe from Selene's face.

"Alright! Oh my god, chill your beans, man, your desperation is oozing from your pores, it's disgusting." She scrunched up her face and ripped the sunglasses off, jumping to her feet. "Let's go." She said, grabbing Zoran's wrist and dragging him behind her.

"Wha- where are we going?" Zoran let himself be dragged by Selene, far too confused to put up much of a fight. His back was bent as he walked because Selene was unnecessarily short so he couldn't even see where they were going properly until she came to a stop and go of his wrist.

"What...?"

He didn't answer her question, far too busy looking around the room. It was the arcade, full of machines and people and the smell of nachos and sweat. Zoran didn't even know this was here and has decided that Selene was a wonderful person, and as such a wonderful person ought to do, she was going to win each game with him.

Zoran turned to Selene, pretty sure that his eyes were a bit wider and probably crazed too, and said, "You are a saint. Fight with me and win all these things so we can get the best prize."

It was Zoran this time, who grabbed Selene's wrist - completely encased by his hand - and pulled her over to the starting machine: air hockey.

She was smiling now, grinning actually, and grabbed one of the paddles, "Bring it, Zozo."

Zoran gave her a withering glare, "Don't  _call_  me that," he, too, grabbed a paddle - probably more aggressively than he probably should have, but he was going to fucking  _win_.

They were in that arcade for at least two hours before Zoran decided that maybe he shouldn't challenge someone athletically inclined to games where that's a requirement. Or where the existence of such skills being needed is even a remote possibility because Selene was a cheerleader and did gymnastics and could run for a mile and still only be partially tired and Zoran would die.

Yeah, he'll stick to his racing and shooter games and the other intellectually challenging things because then he actually  _wins_.

By the time they were making their way out of the arcade, the sun had begun to set and Selene was freezing, she was still dressed in the crop top and shorts she had been sunbathing in and hadn't bothered changing.

"We should go to the buffet before it closes." She said, arms wrapped around herself, shivering harshly.

"Yeah, true. I hope they actually have some chicken today, it was all gone last time." He didn't even really think about it much when he shoved Selene forward to get moving faster, "The faster we get there the warmer you'll be, you look like a scared rabbit or something with all your shivering."

"I am a vicious panther, excuse you. I got the last peri chicken last time. Clearly, I was blessed with heavenly luck. Stick with, my new brother, I'll show you the way to unlimited chicken," she declared, marching ahead without a glance back to see whether or not he was following - of course, he would follow, this was chicken.

Zoran didn't hesitate to follow - this, was, after all, food. Zoran really loved food; he liked just about anything and everything he could eat - but only to a point of course. He couldn't have nasty things like beets or broccoli or something.

  
In any case, he has decided that Selene is pretty cool and free food is even cooler.

Free food apparently became a thing because Selene was friends with a lot of the serving and kitchen staff, who all smiled and said 'hey' and asked her how she was enjoying the cruise so far.

Someone even bought them some cheesecake because it was the last one and they needed it to be gone so they could clean up.

"How do you know so many people ... and not like, make them hate you?" Zoran was very busy filling his plate with mac & cheese, chicken, potatoes, and other good things. He should invest in being more social if this is what he'd get out of it - free food was  _the best_.

Selene shrugged, "I sort of have this thing - I can't stand awkward silences or even comfortable silences, I don't like silence in general, it makes me all self-conscious so I just - talk. A lot. And at some point, people seem to...know me? I don't know." She said.

Zoran sent her sideways glance, more curious than anything,

"Fair enough I guess. I'm just bad with people, to be honest. Like, really bad. I'm also bad with words and have shitty comebacks so I can't even find someone to be antagonistic with. It's the worst," he said, plopping down in his chair after carefully setting his overflowing plate down on the table.

"I understand I guess. I'm fantastic with comebacks, so that's not really a problem. But I understand the awkwardness. Wanna know a thing?" She grinned brightly, looking up at him,

"Sure?"

"Half the time, I make all these friends yeah? And I'll tell strangers my entire life story - and then I might see them again, in a different context. And they recognize me. But I'm really bad with eye contact. I don't look at people when I talk to them. So this person might know pretty much everything about me, but I don't even know what they look like," she giggled,

Zoran kinda just, sat there, still eating his potatoes, a weird look on his face, "Fair enough I guess. I don't really like talking about me much - compared to you anyway," he paused, gulping from his water before continuing,

"I think people find me weird. Like, I'm bad with words and I stutter a lot when I get excited and tend to not be interested in most things that other people are. Did you know that there's literally only 10 people including me who are a part of the school's anime & manga club?!" He seemed genuinely frustrated at the notion, "Like, how  _dare_  other people not be interested? Anime and manga are, like, a  _life source_."

Selene was looking at him all wide-eyed, slightly startled before her expression relaxed again, and she was looking at him with more understanding,

"So...you're a nerd?" She asked like it was a serious medical condition, even leaning over to pat his shoulder.

Zoran gave her a very offended look, "You don't have to put it like  _that_! It's not a disease, okay! Jeez ..." he idly stabbed at his beans,

"I'm a senior in high school and some junior athlete feels sorry for me ..." Zoran gave a dejected sigh but didn't stay down for long, "Meh, oh well. But yeah, I'm pretty lame, not gonna lie. Probably one of the lamest you'll ever meet so feel special. I'm fucking great."

"Wow. I feel something but it isn't special. Probably pity. Maybe hunger. Not entirely sure." Selene said, before tucking into her food. "Hurry up and eat, my dude. Before I become the new Olaf,"

"Ugh, no, don't, I refuse. You're gross." Zoran continued to eat, however. And before long his plate was finished, his drink drained, and his desert consumed.

Selene was still only halfway through her own food, even though she had taken less than food compared to Zoran. She gave him a withering glare when he made to get up, so he slid back down into his seat and was forced to keep her company while she ate.

"You know, you're a pretty cool dude. Well, cool might be the wrong word. But you're a dude. Welcome to the fam, bro," Selene said, punching Zoran's arm as they walked back to their rooms.

Zoran blinked, not sure how he was supposed to feel about that, but took the opportunity for what it was worth - no matter how much his mum drove him insane, he still loved her and being nice to her new husband's family would make her happy too.

"Thanks, I guess. You're not so bad yourself," he awkwardly smiled in her direction - not too sure what he was supposed to do. There was a bit of silence then, but it wasn't weird or awkward, just kinda calm.

That was until the boat started to sway more and the deck started to get even more slippery than before as the ocean spray got heavier and denser. The sky, already darkening in the late evening, was now covered in ominous thunder clouds.

Selene reached for Zoran instinctively, and Zoran was already clinging to the wall. They knew that the weather was supposed to get bad this evening, the crew had warned them about it. But they didn't think it would get so rough so quickly.

"Move towards the rooms!" Selene screamed, panic lacing every syllable but thankfully Zoran heard her and took a cautious step forward.

"Jesus fucking - of  _course_ , this would happen, why  _wouldn't_  this happen, we're in the fucking  _Bermuda Triangle_  and life is shitting on us!" Zoran practically screamed into the air, like he was challenging some higher being to prove him wrong, "Ugh, I can't fucking  _see_ ,"

Zoran struggled to move forward, hugging the wall as much as he could and keeping a strong arm around Selene's shoulders because she was short and light and would probably be whisked away by the storm if he let go.

He was  _so glad_  he'd taken up martial arts to keep from getting fat. He really would have probably also been whisked away by the wind otherwise.

They had been warned to stay away from the deck and they really should have listened. Now they were getting swept left and right by the wind and the ocean spray.

"Stay away from the edge!" Selene shouted when Zoran tried to grab onto the railings

"It's either holding onto these or crawling and my knees are not prepared for that!" he snapped.

"Oh my god how have you even lived until now!" Selene snapped, her arms tight around his waist, she squeezed harder when another gust of wind had them taking several steps back.

"I cannot believe I'm going to die like this!" she shrieked in a pitch probably only dolphins could hear without bleeding from the ears.

" _Jesus fucking christ, would you not say things like that?!_ You're going to jinx us, shit if we fucking die I will seriously kill you!" Zoran tried to keep his grip on the metal of the railing as he shuffled as best he could forward, keeping one arm wrapped tightly around Selene's shoulders in an effort to keep her safe.

"It's better to accept death early on! That way if you live it's a pleasant surprise!" she yelled back, the seawater was splashing onto the deck, making the wooden floor more slippery than it had any need being, Selene stumbled back a couple of times, and clung harder and harder to Zoran.

He didn't seem to notice or much care about her death grip at this point, far too consumed with internal panic and frustration. The boat was rocking far too much and each time the waves came up to hit the side of the boat it was reaching higher and farther and soon, Zoran knew that the waves would start hitting the railings.

This was not good at all. Zoran usually really liked storms, but the churning sky and aggressive ocean were  _not_ fun or pretty or any kind of nice and Zoran didn't think he'd be able to stand another storm after this. Especially if he was pulled into the death that was the stormy ocean.

Sadly, that was exactly what happened. Zoran had one arm wrapped around Selene, who when she was thrown to the side after slipping on some water, he was dragged back with her until they were both on their hands and knees on the deck.

The boat was swaying wildly and they slipped and slid along with it until they rather unceremoniously got swept along with a beach chair and slipped through the bottom railing.

Maybe if Selene hadn't held onto Zoran, he wouldn't have fallen in with her, but she did, so he was subject to the icy slap of water crashing against his body.

At first, neither of them really registered what happened -far too shocked and panicked to do much more than trying to keep afloat.

But then they felt everything at once. The water was so cold it burned, the waves so strong it pushed them hard under its unforgiving surface and the wind so fast it stung as they breached the surface and would steal their breath away too.

It was terrifying, truly the most intense and frightening experience of both their lives. Eventually, neither could find a way to breathe, much less keep themselves afloat and soon fell unconscious. 


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2** _

**Enjoy (:**

* * *

 

 

When Zoran began to  _feel_  things again, he thought he'd died. Why wouldn't he have, when the last thing he remembered was falling unconscious in the icy depths that was the ocean? He thought that, since he could feel warmth at all meant he was definitely dead (because wasn't heaven supposed to be comfortable - and hell super hot?). But then he felt pain and decided that it felt far too real for him to be dead.

And then it hit his brain -  _he was alive_. He was alive and not at the bottom of the ocean and  _oh god_ ,  _where was_   _Selene_ _?!_

That thought had him shooting up so fast his head swam and his muscles burned and everything just  _ached_. But he didn't care - he just cared if Selene was okay because of  _he_  survived, she sure as hell had too. And if she didn't, not only would he feel bad, but his mom and her new husband would  _butcher_ him.

That's when he heard a sound just a bit away.

"Bloody fucking shit!" Someone was groaning, not so far away from him and Selene got on her hands and crawled over to him.

"Hey, Zozo, you alive?" She asked, kneeling over him, there was a gash to the side of her head, blood dribbling down to her neck and Zoran couldn't feel his leg.

"We...should probably find a doctor," Zoran groaned, looking around, but all he could see was water and trees. Selene frowned, following his lead and looking around,

"But...which way do we go?"

Zoran didn't know either at first, kinda just looking around, keeping a hand on the bleeding hole in his leg, but then he heard it. A crash in the distance toward the trees on his right, so he pointed there,

"We'll go that way. Crashes mean people ... hopefully."

Selene raised an eyebrow, looking very doubtful, "We're going... _towards_  the crashes?"

He gave her a withering look, "It's either that or bleed out on the middle of some beach in some place we aren't familiar with. If you want to die slowly and painfully be my guest, but if I'm gonna die, I might as well be killed from some other guy with a gun or some shit than my own bum leg."

He tried to stand then, only to fall - or almost anyway, cause Selene quickly grabbed his waist with a grunt.

"What the hell! Warn someone before deciding to fall over!" She snapped, struggling under his weight, her knees almost buckling.

"Not my fault! You're the one who decided to try and hold me up. Not that I don't  _appreciate it_ , mind you." Zoran was breathing heavier and his body seemed to get heavier each breath, but he was trying to keep as much of his weight on his good leg, as to not hurt Selene.

"Well great, come on my crippled pal, let's go to our deaths," She sighed, slowly edging forwards and almost stumbling over. It didn't take them long to find something of a rhythm and soon they were edging forwards slowly but constantly.

The crashes and thuds got louder as they got closer and Selene was beginning to panic, because sure they might be people, but they might not be nice people who will help them, they might be shooty-shooty people with big guns and stuff.

Thankfully she didn't have to go much further when Zoran tapped her shoulder and made a ' _let's sit down here_ ' motion. He was sweating a lot more than she'd seen him sweat before and his face was so pale it looked like he'd seen a ghost.

Zoran hadn't sweat this much since his last Hapkido tournament and he hadn't felt this queasy since he'd last had the flu, but all the same, he knew that going any further like he was - like  _they_ were - would probably lead to their actual death.

"Let's just ... chill here for a bit. We should, uh ... wait for the crashy sounds and stuff to, uh ... stop. Yeah, that."

Selene completely welcomed the break because Zoran was a 6ft tall behemoth and dumped him onto the ground unceremoniously before collapsing down herself.

Zoran's head was all fuzzy and he couldn't get a sense of balance and his leg was throbbing but also numb at the same time and nothing made sense.

"Ugh," he grunted, "how does pain even ... I feel sick and my head is foggy."

Selene groaned, she was still dressed in the tank top and shorts she had been wearing when she was sunbathing, only now it was soaked through and the wetness was seeping into her bones and making her uncomfortable to the core.

"Kill me. I want to die. Let me go peacefully." She whined, her head was pounding now - the pain of the gash on her head starting to finally register, her neck felt sticky with dried blood too and she was just disgusting all over.

Zoran drew himself up a bit - finding some kind of energy that he didn't know he had to lean his back against the bark of a tree and felt like his lungs were on fire just then, his ribs were probably bruised at best, fractured at worst. Zoran didn't even want to entertain the idea of them being broken, but he knew that they hurt a lot. His lungs felt like they'd been cleaned with sandpaper from all the saltwater he'd undoubtedly swallowed.

"Ugh, only if I can die first," he said, trying to keep himself from falling unconscious.

"Don't sleep asshole. You'll  _really_  die," Selene muttered, fighting against her own closing eyes.

The sound of thuds and crashes and the vibrations that traveled through the floor were finally dying down but Selene couldn't get up, her limbs felt like lead and her head felt like it was stuffed full of cotton wool.

Zoran, seeing that she was on the verge of tipping over, drew up the dregs of his strength and extended his good arm - the one that wasn't pressing against the open wound on his right thigh - and wrapped around her waist and drew her to his side as much as he could.

She was shivering and her skin was warm to the touch, but he had to keep her awake as long as possible because even someone like him - who'd almost failed health class due to lack of attention - knew that head wounds were the most dangerous of the bunch.

"Don't ... fall the fuck asleep ... Selene because I swear ..." his voice was really rough and he was pretty sure that his throat was trying to tear itself apart.

"Shut...up asshole...not sleeping," she murmured, even as her eyes began to close, "You're ...you're the one sleeping," she managed to get out.

Zoran tried to nudge her but his limbs were sluggish and before he could do anything, Selene's eyes were closed and her body was sagging and getting heavier and heavier and Zoran was concerned.

"Shit ..." he muttered under his breath, trying, and failing, to shake Selene back awake. His breathing was getting even more labored and he couldn't feel his leg anymore and his eyes wouldn't focus on much of anything, but his ears could still hear.

And he heard the sound of footsteps just then and a feeling of relief hit him so hard in his heart it  _hurt_.

"O-OI!" He tried to raise his voice, but it only hurt his throat worse, "PLEASE! Help - Help us out!" He could feel the edge of unconsciousness creeping into his vision and he didn't know what he was supposed to do, but he needed to get to someone  _soon_.

" _Please ..._ " It was only a whisper, and he was already falling to the ground as the steps were getting closer and he could finally make out the person. Hopefully, they'd help, but Zoran's body wouldn't stay awake long enough to even see their face much less if they'd help.

**_* * *_ **

Sasuke frowned, hands stuffed in his pockets and head down as he walked forwards, in his pockets, his hands were still shaking and his heart was still racing.

Perhaps it was because of the adrenaline that was still surging through his body, or the lingering fear, that made him extra sensitive to the environment - he heard a voice.

He glanced back and saw the others were quite a way behind him, Naruto with Kakashi on his back and Sakura sticking close to Tazuna in case of another attack.

He hesitated for a moment longer, before quickly stepping through the bushes - it didn't take long to find the source of the noise. Two people, a guy and a girl, both looked older than him and neither looked anything like each other - the only thing that was slightly odd was the two-toned hair color they both had.

He stepping in front of them, hesitant and one hand ready to pull out a kunai. They were both unconscious, but they could be ninja - even though they didn't look or dress even vaguely like ninja - in fact, they were dressed like civilians and their clothes were wet all the way through.

Sasuke would have walked away, maybe sent help back for them once he was far away enough - but then he saw the girl's wound, deep and right next to her temple. She could die - and he knew it wasn't really his problem, but he couldn't just leave people to die.

"Sasuke-kun?!" he heard Sakura's voice,

"I'm here!" he shouted, keeping his eyes glued to the people in front of him. Naruto, Sakura, and Tazuna made their way into the bushes.

It was Naruto who saw them first, the two lying - bloodied - on the ground. The guy had his arm wrapped around the girl's waist awkwardly and both of them were really pale.

Naruto thought they looked like what ghosts might look like and that's kinda scary.

But, that didn't really matter because he then noticed  _where_  the blood was coming from. The girl had a deep, angry looking cut right at the temple of her head and the blood had flowed down over her face, neck, and onto her chest by this point and even  _he_  knew that was bad.

The guy though didn't seem to have any external wounds at first, but then Naruto noticed the puddle under them growing a bit bigger near his thigh and that's when it was noticed that he had a big hole there.

"Oh god!" Sakura gasped, immediately going to kneel next to the girl with a handkerchief in hand and dabbing lightly at her wound. Sasuke wanted to facepalm so badly but he had other issues to deal with.

"What do we do? We can't just leave them?!" Sakura exclaimed and Naruto nodded wholeheartedly, making Kakashi groan when his entire body moved too.

"My house isn't too far away and my daughter used to be a nurse. We can take them there," Tazuna offered, being helpful for once.

"No, wait. We can't just take them there, they could be enemy ninja," Sasuke snapped, because this was moving way too fast and none of these idiots were thinking.

But then the guy started to stir a little bit, just enough to breathe out another plea before falling back unconscious and that was all it took for Naruto to get it into his mind that they  _needed_  to help.

"No way! We are helping them! Even if I have to carry them myself!" He snapped, and Sasuke did facepalm then because he knew Naruto and he knew that there was no way Naruto was going to back down when he had that look on his face and Sasuke wanted to scream a little because could Naruto not chill out a little bit?

He didn't say any of that out loud and instead just sighed. "Fine. Make some shadow clones. You're carrying them." He snapped before turning to Sakura.

"You're good at first aid right? Make it so we can move them," he ordered. Naruto did that thing where he was almost growling but Sakura jumped up and did and she was told, taking out bandages and cleaning wipes.

"Naruto! Give me your water bottle!" Sakura snapped once her's was empty and Naruto handed it over immediately.

It took a while before she could bandage the guy up though because his limbs were heavy and his jeans were thick - she had to cut them off and wrap them around his wound again, over the bandage to make sure he didn't start bleeding again.

She didn't know how long it would hold or how fast his wound would heal because she'd never seen anything this bad before; it was large and the meat was puffy and there was blood and she could  _see_  the bone. Sakura was sure that if she'd had the energy, she'd probably be sick at that moment.

In any case, once she was finished giving first aid the man was moved onto clone 1 and the girl to clone 2.

Naruto was grumbling about being the only one to carry people but he didn't bother to scream since he was the one who had insisted on helping them.

Sasuke led the way again with Tazuna ambling behind him, Sakura was hovering over the three injured people like an anxious chicken, making sure they weren't bleeding or falling off of Naruto's back(s).

Thank goodness Tazuna's house wasn't too far away.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3** _

**Enjoy (:**

 

* * *

 

__

Waking up  _hurt_. It was gross and not fun at all and Zoran would never complain about his Hapkido teacher being a dick ever again. Okay, well, maybe not  _ever_ again ... but not for a good 6 months at least!

His head was  _pounding_ , like that kind of headache that you get after studying for 2 days straight with only coffee, energy drinks, and obnoxious amounts of sugary foods to keep you alive. The kind that made Zoran want to curl in a ball and sleep, but the pain in his ribs, leg, and pretty much everything else hurt too much for that.

He, of course, could only think about his hunger and need for the bathroom at that moment because that's what was beginning to take over the other sensations. So, he opened his eyes and went to prop himself up on his elbows to get his bearings - only to come face to face with someone  _very_  familiar.

At first, he didn't really register what he was seeing - the bright yellow, sparkly blue, and offensive orange were just so overwhelming. But then it sunk in, cause the kid wasn't moving and neither was he and it was starting to get awkward but Zoran could definitely tell he wasn't seeing things.

It definitely had to be a dream.

His ribs twinged -  _or maybe not_.

Uzumaki  _fucking_  Naruto was crouching over his still half-laid body, and just ...  _staring_.

"Uhhhh ..." Zoran, of course, defaulted to the natural response, "Sup?"

"You're alive!" Naruto screamed and Zoran flinched, falling down on his back hard enough to make him blink a few times.

"Na-Ru-TO! Get away from him! He needs to rest!" She snapped, kicking her way into the room and dragging Naruto back by the collar. Zoran took one look at her and closed his eyes again. He has  _got_  to be dreaming.

This couldn't  _actually_  be happening. It wasn't possible for things like this to happen, it just  _wasn't_. You don't just ... fall off a cruise ship and wound up in an anime you grew up watching (he really didn't like it much, to be honest, there was just so much  _wrong_ ) like a badly written fanfiction with the sole plot revolving around being the 'strongest.'

He didn't want this. He also really did want this. It was a very strange array of emotions, but the most prominent being giddy disbelief.

He decided that he'd take advantage of the situation and just go with the flow because this was  _Naruto_  and he was going to learn everything he can because when will he ever get this chance again?!

There was a loud groan next to him, and his head snapped to the side when he saw Selene lying there - he almost forgot about her in his excitement.

But there she was, with a giant bandage wrapped around her head - she looked like she was dying; all pale and bruised.

"Oh, shit -" he jerked to the side, not paying attention to the little girl trying to him to lay back down, too concerned trying to make sure she was really  _there_.

"Ugh, did someone give me alcohol again?" She asked, one hand going to her head, the other trying to push herself up into a sitting position and failing miserably.

"Alcohol? What even - you know what, whatever. You almost  _died_!" Zoran exclaimed, Selene glanced up at him and gave him a half-assed glare.

"Let's keep to our inside voices shall we?"

Zoran just rolled his eyes with a huff that was definitely not more like a relieved sigh than anything. "Whatever you little shit."

They noted the silence then - the tense kind that made the hair on the back of your neck stand on end and the little bumps on your arms rise.

"Oh god. More people." Selene said when she glanced around to see two kids with obnoxious hair and clothes staring at them like they were some sort of carnival show.

"Er, hey," She said, raising a hand before looking at Zoran for some sort of explanation or introduction.

He gave her a look that indicated that he didn't know what was going on either, but decided to take one for the team because obviously, he knew more about what was actually going on than she did. Obviously.

"Uh, yeah. So, um ... where are we? Better yet, who are all of you?" He asked, as if he  _didn't_  already know, "I'm ... Asahi and this is Yuuhi."

The look Selene shot him was far from friendly but he ignored it. He knew that she wouldn't appreciate the new name - of course, she wouldn't - but it was needed. They can't just have their English names here, it was very strange and would probably make them more likely to be held in suspicion.

It had  _nothing_  to do with the fact that he'd always wanted to be an SI-OC in a fic. Nothing at all.

"Yeah ... I'm ... that." Selene said and Zoran cringed at how awkward she sounded. If there was one thing Selene was bad at - it was impromptu lying. Her lying depended on planning - the complete opposite of Zoran.

"Yuuhi and Asahi? Those are pretty names." Sakura said, and Selene tried to smile at her but it came out as more of a grimace. Zoran didn't even try.

"Er, thanks. Did you guys save us?" Selene asked, pointing to her head, Naruto nodded smiling brightly.

"Yep. I saved you guys -ttebayo!" He declared and for some odd reason, Zoran grinned. He wasn't the grinning type. Especially not at strangers.

Zoran, of course, was fighting an actual smile at that moment - hearing that cringy catchphrase and the stupid pose was such a weird thing.

Of course, he wasn't grinning for long, as the small pink haired girl came forward and just about slammed the kid to the ground with a punch to the head and a, " _No, it was Sasuke-kun, Naruto!_ "

Selene flinched backward and gasped, staring at the girl in horror because what kid does that to their friend?

"Are you okay?!" She shrieked at the yellow kid, who was still on the ground, groaning, he didn't look too hurt though - more upset than anything else and she glared at the pink kid, because seriously? Who does that?

"Are you insane? How could you do that to him?!" She snapped because despite being quite awful to people herself, Selene at least never resorted to physical violence.

Zoran on the other hand was glaring at the girl with as much hate and disdain as he physically could without standing up to tower over her. He hated people like that so much - hated the bullies and the abusers and the idiots who make excuses for themselves.

At least Selene was honest about herself and didn't try to justify anything because what's there to justify? That's just the way she is and Zoran could be okay with that.

What he couldn't be okay with, is hitting another kid  _just because_.

Selene brushed past it though, because they were kids sure, but they could fight their own battles, she didn't need to step in for kids she didn't know, but when she turned to Zoran, she felt something cold go down her spine.

He was glaring in a way she had never seen before - that's when she realized, she had never seen him angry, not for real anyway, she had seen him mildly annoyed, she had seen him happy, she had seen him embarrassed. But never this angry.

"Hey," she said, reaching over to put a hand on his arm, "You okay there?"

Zoran shot her a glance, his eyes softening a bit as he did - he wasn't angry with Selene after all, "Yeah," he said, letting out a heavy sigh that seemed to relax his face, "I'm fine. I just really don't like ... people like that I guess. I've dealt with them enough, ya know?"

The look on his face was enough for Selene to connect the dots that, just because Zoran did martial arts didn't mean he wasn't picked on - he  _was_ a nerd after all.

She nodded, "I get you." She said, before turning to Naruto who was on his feet again and a slightly stuttering and intimidated Sakura. "Hey, can you kids go and get your parents or something? I don't think we should be talking to kids we don't know,"

There was a strangled sound that escaped Zoran's throat at her declaration and when she glanced over, she could see he was trying to keep himself from laughing. What an emotional guy.

"What?" She asked, the kids were frozen too, looking annoyed and sad and offended all at once, "Did I say something wrong?" She asked, more and more confused.

"Um...I'll go and get Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura said, running out of the room. Naruto stared after her, then glanced back at the two of them.

"I'm Naruto Uzumaki, by the way, the future Hokage!" he declared after a moment of silence. Selene paused.

"Sure thing, hi," She said, not even acknowledging the weird things he was saying because you know what? She really didn't care.

Zoran, at least, seemed to know what was going on a little bit because he gave Naruto a genuinely happy smile that she'd only seen him give a few times before,

"Well, good luck with that. There's paperwork you have to do, you know that right?" He said, his smile now turned into this secretive smile thing that only seemed to grow wider at the kid's disbelief.

"Wait ... WHAT?!" Naruto screamed, looking panicked all the sudden. Selene flinched again then sighed. Screaming was a thing with these people it seemed.

She was not a fan.

"So what's a Hokkage?" she asked, Zoran snapped his head over to her - face blatantly showing disbelief.

"You ... how can you? I don't ...  _what_?" He said before any of the other kids could say anything.

Selene stared at him, "Am I missing something? You know what that is?" She asked.

Zoran looked at her with such offense and distrust, it was honestly confusing, "The  _Hokage_  is the leader of a village - the Village Hidden in the Leaves, as in, Konohagakure. As in ninja?  _Nothing?_ " Zoran looked a little sad, "Do you not actually know?"

"Is this about another one of your nerd hobbies?" Selene asked, raising an eyebrow, "If so, let me remind you that I spent my life going outside and making friends." She said.

Zoran raised a finger and opened his mouth to refute, but found he couldn't and slowly brought it down in comical slowness, "Fair enough ... but yeeeahhhh ... it's not really a 'nerd hobby' as it so much our  _current reality_." He stressed, trying to get across that they weren't exactly in Kansas anymore.

"I...er...Okay? Oh- FUCK!" It hit her like a hammer. Sure she wasn't a nerd, but she knew fanfiction, knew how it worked because some of that shit is actually really good. But this wasn't one of those.

"Are you saying...?" She looked to Zoran for confirmation.

He shifted a bit in his seat, looking really uncomfortable and slightly guilty, even though he had no real reason to be, and gave a shaky nod. That's when she noticed his paling skin and shaking hands and slightly more wide eyes.

"Naruto, would you mind leaving us alone for a second," she asked, keeping her eyes on Zoran, Naruto had been watching them going back and forth, but even he noticed Zoran looking faint and shot up to leave.

Selene didn't know how to deal with Zoran, wasn't good at this kind of thing, so she just crawled over and sat in front of him, and wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug because hugs solve a lot of problems.

Zoran ... didn't really know what was going on at first. He was so caught up in what was going on in his head to really focus on much of anything.

He and Selene were stuck in a fictional world - a world where ninja and monster chakra beasts and suicidal maniacs were a normal everyday thing. He and Selene were stuck here, without a way back (at least, he assumed so) and for all either of them knew, they would never see their parents again.

Never hug or cuddle with pets or hang out with friends. Never read another manga or novel or see another movie or anime. Never experience what it would be like to go to college/university and actually be successful.  _Never be able to eat his mom's cooking ever again._

Zoran was freaking out because what if they can never actually go home? What if they die here? What if they  _do_  go back? What would they tell their parents and friends to explain how long they were gone?

_What if we die?_

That phrase kept repeating over and over in his head but then he felt arms wrap around his neck in an awkward but nice hug and he eventually hugged her back, taking in the strange but nice act of kindness.

Selene shifted slightly, uncomfortable on her knees and squished closer to Zoran, she could feel his shoulder's start to loosen, so she pulled back a little.

"Hey. You good?" She asked, looking him directly in his lilac eyes.

Zoran gave a small "I will be." And they pulled away fully, and not a second too soon as it was then the door opened and a slightly timid Sakura came in guiding another man with her.

He was supporting himself with a crutch and had most of his face covered up - Selene wondered what kind of horrific accident had caused him to have to cover his entire face - what sort of gruesome scar was he hiding.

Zoran's eyes were on Sakura however because she was turning pinker than her hair and he realized why immediately. Selene was sat with her arms around Zoran's neck, on her knees in front of him, looking down at him and he was breathing hard...it looked like they had been making out.

Zoran decided he wasn't going to correct any assumptions - it would take away all the fun, and he was sure that Selene would go along with it to, so why not - that's why he didn't make any hasty moves to push her away, just letting her get comfortable at her own pace.

That meant Selene just sort of pivoted and plopped down so she was sitting directly in front of Zoran, pretty much on his lap, because she had no concept of personal space to begin with.

Zoran and Selene looked up expectantly at them, ready to ask questions and answer them alike.

"Well, let's get to it then." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember to comment, kudos, and subscribe to let us know what you think! (:


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4** _

**Enjoy (:**

* * *

 

"Well, let's get to it then," Selene said as she watched the masked man step into the room, the kids seemed to be at indecision on whether to enter the room or not - apparently deciding to stay per Naruto's stubborn nature and their own personal curiosity.

Zoran hadn't expected anything less, although Selene seemed a bit confused at first. In any case, Zoran felt it best to try and do most of the talking - initially anyway. He was the one who knew about this place after all.

Selene bit the inside of her cheek, this guy was weird, he had a mask hiding half his face and came in hobbling on crutches, Zoran looked like he was about to pass out.

"Oh fuck, take me now," he breathed quietly. Selene glanced to him and just...no not now, she had enough to deal with.

"Keep it in your pants weirdo. Let's see if slender-man wants to talk to us first."

Zoran just cuts his eyes at her for a second and almost deflated but nodded anyway because he wasn't  _that_  delusional. Anyway, Zoran looked up at the masked guy with expectant eyes, and Selene took that to mean that this guy was in charge.

"Well...to be totally honest, I am not at all prepared for this scenario. So, who are you guys?" He asked, sounding more tired than anything.

"Er, I'm Sel- Yuuhi. And this is Zor- Asahi." She said, tripping over the names because Zoran just had to be awkward about it.

"Were you attacked? Are you a ninja?" Sakura asked, leaning forwards eagerly and Selene felt like, there was something not quite right about the second question but, you know what? She's had a long day, now is not the time.

"Well I certainly feel attacked," Selene muttered under her breath and Zoran jumped in,

"We were on a boat with our family, there was a storm and we got knocked overboard," Zoran bit his lip for a second, glancing at Selene's head and looking for all intents and purposes, very concerned about her head wound, and not at all concerned about the consequences of the said falling overboard will have. "And we're very much civilian, no worries about that."

Kakashi sighed, "To be honest, I even couldn't fight civilians right now in my current state. If Tazuna and his family don't mind, you're welcome to stay, but I would check with them first. The rest of you, follow me," Kakashi said, and hobbled out of the room with the kids trailing after him like ducklings.

"Well...I don't want to know. I need a nap." Selene said before lying back down.

Zoran gave a small sigh and glanced at her as she flopped back against the small futon they were sitting on. Before long she'd fallen asleep, curling in on herself toward Zoran unconsciously (probably looking for warmth) and Zoran decided he should stay awake just in case they came back in while she was sleeping.

He was still very confused and stressed about the whole situation, but he also knew that getting worked up about it would probably lead to more bad than good, so Zoran decided to just take it one day at a time - it wasn't worth the headache otherwise.

A moment or two later, a small man and a woman walked through the door, the man looked disorientated and a little cautious and the woman just smiled sweetly and came to sit beside Zoran.

"Hi, I'm Tsunami, how are you feeling?" she asked,

Zoran blinked away his thoughts, jerking his head up at the sound of her voice,

"Oh, uh ... I'm fine. My leg kinda stings and my ribs ache, but that's about it. Did you uh ... were you the one that helped me and Yuuhi?" Zoran felt pretty proud of himself for not stumbling over the name.

"Ah yes, you two weren't in good shape when they brought you here, were you attacked by one of Gato's ships?" She asked,

"Oh, no, we were just caught up in a freak storm." Zoran gave her a little smile, trying not to cringe as she crouched next to his bandaged thigh and started to feel around the edges.

"Oh, well ..." she didn't really know what to say and they fell into an awkward silence, only broken by Selene groaning in sleep and putting her head on Zoran's good leg, letting out a small sigh of comfort. Apparently, his thigh was a better pillow.

"Your girlfriend is adorable." Tsunami smiled, and Zoran choked on his own spit,

"She's not - she's ... uh, no. I'm not .. that's just .. no. We aren't - together!" Was his very hasty response, he could feel his cheeks grow warm and he knew his face must be really red because Tsunami only gave a giggle and a knowing look.

If Selene woke up to this, she would never let him live it down so he looked around the room widely for a change of subject...but it was a plain Japanese style wooden room, there was nothing here. So he just stared down at his lap and wondered if steam was coming out his ears..since apparently, he was in an anime now.

"Let me see your leg, sweetie, I need to change the bandages." Tsunami said, apparently showing some mercy on him. It didn't take long, but it hurt like a bitch to have the wound cleaned. Just as Tsunami was rewrapping it - and Zoran was  _really_  glad he didn't have to look at it much longer - the door opened and the whole of Team 7 made their way in the much too small room.

There was an extra kid, and Zoran almost squealed because it was Sasuke Uchiha and nope, he had to take a deep breath, he could not fanboy over a 12-year-old, that was not happening. It wasn't that he was all about Sasuke either - because he  _wasn't_  - but Sasuke was like, the only character in the entire thing that Zoran actually kinda  _liked_  other than a few of those characters from Kiri or Kumo so really he kinda  _was_  all about Sasuke.

"Hi again," Sakura smiled shyly and Zoran tried not to roll his eyes because she's 12 and he is 18 and he will not bully her. He was above that....was he? Yes, he was. That didn't mean he had to  _be nice_  tho ... right? Right.

"Ew, dude! Your leg looks awful!" Naruto exclaimed, pretty much zooming over to breathe down Tsunami's back as he watched her finish off.

"Naruto! Don't be rude!" Sakura snapped and Selene jerked awake at the sudden yelling.

"I swear to fucking God. I will rip your vocal chords out and wear them as a fucking necklace if you don't tone it the fuck down!" She snapped, her eyes weren't even fully open and her voice was hoarse and she looked like the least threatening thing on the planet but Sakura still froze, going pale.

"She's...not a morning person." Zoran tried to explain with a half-smile.

"Correction - I'm not a waking up person. There's a difference."

Zoran just pats her head, ignoring her hiss of irritation, "Yes, yes, I know." He looked up at the group, noticing that Sakura was still pale and  _actually_  trembling and Naruto was mostly confused and the others in various states of apathy.

"Ignore her, she's harmless," Zoran told her, mostly because he didn't want the to think they were an actual threat or something but Selene glared up at him, totally offended.

"Anyway. I need to get to know you guys a little more. Tsunade tells me you got caught in a storm?" Kakashi asked, hobbling over and collapsing onto the foot of the futon.

"Yeah, it was wild, man," Selene said, nodding solemnly against Zoran's leg - it was a very strange sensation.

Zoran nodded in agreement, his hand coming up to rub lightly against his ribs and making a face. "We were told to expect a little turbulence but the storm just came up out of nowhere and we were swept off the deck into the ocean," Zoran said, looking up at Kakashi with such an earnest expression the masked man almost flinched.

"You need to inject some chill straight into your bloodstream," Selene told him, getting up to look him straight in the eye.

Zoran gave her a mildly affronted look, "Wow, rude. I'm fucking  _great_  - you need some extra in your life, it must be boring being so apathetic all the time." Zoran was  _not_  unnaturally pleased with himself with that, he  _wasn't_ , so he didn't know why Selene just rolled his eyes and pat him on the shoulder like a child.

"Sure thing, sugar-bunny. Whatever you say, anyway, what is this job interview like thing?" She asked looking up at Kakashi.

"Ew, no, that's gross. Don't call me that." Zoran chimed in a little late but Selene had already moved on from him.

"Risk assessment, we need to make sure you're not a threat." He explained.

"And how would you do that? I mean, any idiot knows how to lie. So no matter what we say you won't trust us." Selene told him matter-of-factly and Kakashi nodded.

"That's true, but there is a way." He said and placed a hand on the knee of Zoran's bad leg.

Zoran's eyes got huge and a sweat immediately broke out on his forehead - "Uh - um, wha-what are you ... please don't -! I don't do with pain very well ..." Zoran looked a little green around the edges and everyone was looking at him like was a strange creature they'd never seen before.

"Straight. Into. Your. Bloodstream." Selene insisted.

"I'm not going to hurt you. There's a way to undo any internal jutsu you might have used. Close your eyes if you feel scared." Kakashi told him and Zoran felt a strange sensation go through him. It was like Kakashi had cracked an egg into his blood and the egg whites were oozing their way through his entire body and it was such a disgustingly gross sensation he couldn't withhold the shivers that wracked his frame.

"TBH I don't know if he's turned on or disgusted," Selene commented, staring at the entire interaction going down.

"The reaction varies," Kakashi said, shrugging.

"What does TBH mean?" Sakura asked but went ignored because no one else was willing to admit they weren't up-to-date on the cool kids' lingo.

Zoran finally got used to feeling of chakra in his system and gave both Selene and Sakura looks of exasperation, "SE-Yuuhi ..." his voice was lower than usual and there was a twitching in his eyebrow,

"Yes ..?"

"Please ... shut her up."

Selene raised an eyebrow, then bared her teeth in a shitty grin, "I'd like to see you try."

"Alright, you're in the clear. Chakra reserves completely untouched, you didn't even go to an Academy did you?" Kakashi asked Zoran shook his head,

"Okay, do me now!" Selene demanded before anyone else could comment on that, she grinned, "That's what she said."

"Wow, nice. You're such a child," Zoran didn't even blink at the reactions either - seeing as Sakura looked like she could fry an egg on her face, Sasuke looking just as uncomfortable, and Naruto confused.

"Anyway. Your hand?" Kakashi said, holding out his own and Selene plopped her's down on his, ignoring how much that action felt a little dog-like.

That egg cracking feeling was the same for her, but it felt like ribbons brushing against her skin very lightly, a ticklish itchy feeling throughout her entire body. She squirmed a little, shifting in place slightly. Then, it was gone as soon as it came.

"Wow, I feel like bugs are crawling all over my body," She shuddered.

"Sorry, but at least now we know you both have absolutely no experience with anything chakra related at all. Unless of course, you're hiding it with a more advanced seal of some kind, but that's not likely." Kakashi said.

Zoran shot a small look at Selene, not sure where to go from here, but deciding he might as well say something, "Well, uh ... all we really wanna know is where we are? And, uh ... thanks as well I guess. I mean, you didn't exactly have to help us, not that I'm not  _thankful_  of course." Zoran was rambling again and closed his mouth, knowing Selene would make fun of him again.

Selene just looked at him, one eyebrow raised. The turned away like it wasn't even worth it.

"You're in the Land of Waves. We're Konoha ninja on a mission and we found you after something of a conflict. Well, my team found you," Kakashi said, waving to the rainbow of children who had been staring at them the entire time.

"Wow, thanks, guys, 'ppreciate it," Selene said,

"No problem, as the future Hokage, it's natural that I save lives! Hahahahaha!" he exclaimed.

"Why does no one have an inside voice anymore?" Selene muttered and paused when she saw the blue one make a little huffing noise.

"Hey, blue, I haven't seen you before! I'm Sel - uh - Asa - no - Yuuhi!" She grinned brightly. Sasuke gave her something of a disgruntled glance, not quite a glare but not exactly friendly either.

"Uchiha. Sasuke Uchiha." He said and Selene paused, wondering whether to say it or not, but Zoran beat her to it, whispering under his breath,

" _Bond. James Bond._ " with a little snort of irony.

"Well Uchiha Sasuke Uchiha; and the rest of you guys, it's a pleasure," Selene told them, finally more awake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember to comment, kudos, and subscribe to let us know what you think! (:


	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter 5** _

**Enjoy (:**

* * *

 

 

"So, you guys are civilians, no ninja training, assumed to be the only survivors of a shipwreck, is that right?" Kakashi asked and Zoran nodded, Selene tried to look somewhat somber but her head was slightly fuzzy and everyone was neon coloured which wasn't helping.

Even though she's finally started to wake up, she was still really very tired and swayed a bit against Zoran's side. That seemed to break the awkward tension around them.

"Oh, you should probably rest more." Tsunami said, reaching around Zoran's still half-sitting body to nudge her into a lounging position.

"'m fine, I could do this all day," Selene slurred, eyes half closed and Zoran rolled his eyes.

"Of course, you could." Zoran said, placing his hands on her shoulders more firmly than Tsunami had, practically making her lay against his leg like she did before, "Just shut up and nap. You're cranky enough as it is, I got this."

Zoran ignored her muttered protests, just rolling his eyes at her progressively violent threats until she finally dozed off.

That evening, Zoran borrowed a crutch and limped his way out of the house, Kakashi and the kids were playing in the garden, running up trees and screaming and whatnot.

Selene was still zonked out in bed, mouth wide open and drool on her pillow, completely dead to the world. Zoran really needed to not only get up and move (because obviously he really didn't want to deal with Selene when she eventually woke up) and also try and get used to the fact that he's in an anime.

It's a very trying process on his psyche, that's for sure.

Kakashi glanced up when he arrived and nodded,

"How are you feeling?"

Zoran gave a little sigh and smile thing, "I'm fine." This time, when tried to move forward his bad leg gave a little wiggle like it was going to drop out from under him, so he decided that plopping down on the closest patch of dry ground was the best course of action.

That didn't really seem to convince Kakashi that he was okay, but Zoran didn't really care at this point.

"So..." Kakashi trailed off, looking around awkwardly because he had the social skills of a gnat.

And Zoran kinda just echoed the sentiment because he's even worse, with no friends here, no way to talk about anything he likes because  _those things don't exist_. But then Naruto falls down again - whining of course as he's prone to - and Sasuke takes that as an invitation to be a little shit about it and Sakura is on the verge of joining in.

Both Kakashi and Zoran join in together in an exasperated sigh (obviously Zoran was getting over his 'being in an anime' thing).

"How's it feel to be a full time babysitter?" He asked, looking at the trio of bickering ninja children. Kakashi paused, contemplating his answer then shrugged,

"It pays the rent,"

"What a stimulating exchange! I'm so glad I woke up in time to catch that riveting conversation," Selene said, she was dressed in one of Tsunami's dresses now and leaning against the frame of the door with raised eyebrows and an amused smirk.

"Unfortunately," Zoran said, rolling his eyes, "Why don't you go back to sleep, you're much more manageable."

"How dare you, I'm delightful in any form," Selene told him, before skipping over to the kids like she wasn't injured and dressed in a floor-length dress.

"Hey guys," she smiled brightly and they paused in their...activities, to say turn to her.

"Hi, Yuuhi-san, how are you feeling?" Sakura asked, looking awfully concerned, Selene froze, did a double-take, then realised  _she_ was Yuuhi-san.

"Oh, right, I'm all good, nothing can keep me down for long," She grinned brightly, pointedly ignoring the snort in the background.

"Oh! Kinda like me? I mean, I never really stay hurt much!" Naruto exclaimed and Selene felt the volume in his voice on a physical level.

"Cool beans, kiddo, so what're you, folks, doing right now?" She asked, nodding to the hideously scarred surfaces of the tree trunks.

"Chakra control practice," Sasuke answered and Selene almost jumped when he spoke because the entire time he was standing perfectly still, just watching her with big black eyes.

"Chakra? Like yoga?" She asked and Zoran bounded forwards and put her in a headlock before she could accidentally give them away.

He gave the kids a serene smile, very contradictory to the red that was starting to take over Selene's struggling face, "Ignore her, please, she doesn't know what she's talking about. Honestly, she's always been a bit spacey during the lectures our parents gave us."

All four ninja just stood there and kinda ... stared because Selene was trying to elbow Zoran in his injured ribs while tapping at the arm holding her neck hostage while Zoran just continued to give them that calm, weirdly scary smile.

"Sa-ve...me...." Selene choked out as Zoran dragged her away, still in the headlock and forced her back into the house.

"Dude! I could have died!" She gasped, as soon as he let go of her, she collapsed dramatically onto the futon, clutching her neck.

"Oh don't be dramatic. I wouldn't have had to do that if you wouldn't have said that anyway!" Zoran started to pace, not even noticing the bewildered and grumpy look she was throwing at him while rubbing her throat with her hand.

"What'd I say?"

Zoran spun around - not aggressively, but he had on socks and floors were slippery and he windmilled a bit to get his balance back, "Chakra is an energy here - something that they use to make things happen ... like - like .. fuck, I dunno, magicy stuff? It's a thing that they use to kill and maim and do insanely inhuman feats ...  _not_  yoga."

"...TBH yoga is better than all of that, very nice and relaxing," Selene shrugged.

Zoran gave a heavy, burdened sigh and plopped down on the other futon next to her.

"Honestly, I kinda agree right now - I could go for some ice cream ... my nerves can't take this." He flopped an arm over his eyes and tried to Not Think About It. It was a hard thing to do.

And it wasn't as though he was all that anxious anymore - he really wasn't (as he was pretty sure the others didn't even think Selene and he was even  _worth_  killing at this point). He was just stressed because of the possibility of never getting home and he really didn't want to live in  _Naruto_  for the rest of his (admittedly short) life.

"...Ice cream would be nice...with whipped cream and caramel...you should try my dad's sundaes, man, they are to die for," Selene mumbled, flopping down on the pillow and sighing.

Zoran stared at the ceiling, having dropped his arm down across his stomach, "Sounds great. As long as we can get some of mom's cookies crumbled on top because all good ice cream  _anything_  has crunchy good things on it."

Selene hummed, "That's debatable but also kind of true so I'm letting it slide." She said. A moment passed...

"Hey, so, you know Naruto?" Zoran asked and Selene frowned,

"The blonde kid outside?" She asked,

"Well, that too. I meant the show -er, anime really." Zoran turned his head toward her and waited,

"Ah...the cartoon? The 'believe it' cartoon?" She asked and Zoran felt himself physically cringe and mumble ' _believe it cartoon'_  under his breath in disbelief,

"Ugh, yes ... that." Zoran said, trying to push the offending term from his brain.

"... What about it?"

Zoran shot Selene a glance, and gestured to the door, "It's literally the same kid."

"What...no! What? No? Wait what? oH!" She gasped. "Is this like one of your fanfictions? Is this going to turn into porn?" She gasped.

Zoran kinda just sat there a second before he let out a bark of laughter, "Uh, no. I don't think so ... None of them are my type,  _obviously_. And I highly doubt that they're ...  _yours_." Zoran tried to keep his incredulous laughter from getting out of hand, but the fact that, that was Selene's first thought was just funny to him.

"What? Stop laughing you weirdo this is serious! Are we in one of your cartoons? Am I going to have to wear the same clothes every day? I can't deal with that!!" She gasped, looking down at the dress she was wearing.

Zoran stopped himself from laughing again, as he's just got himself back under control, "Look, as far as I'm concerned, I don't want to be here any more than you do. Yes, we're in an anime of sorts and I really don't know if we'll ever be able to leave." Zoran was pretty sober now, no longer looking like he found any humour in anything.

"I don't want to stay here ... at all. I don't want to live a life like they do - I feel like we won't, but I'm not going to make any promises," Zoran rubbed his hair from his face (he  _really_  needed a shower) "Besides, our parents would  _murder us_  if we never got back!"

Selene hummed in agreement, "Dad is pretty strict about curfews. 11pm on the dot or grounded for the next week - applications for curfew extensions must be submitted 3 working days before," She told him.

Zoran shot her an incredulous look, "Mom doesn't care about curfew - hasn't since I was 12 ... she's pretty firm about going out tho. At least a day and a half's notice, no less than 36 hours, or it's a no."

"That sounds nice, dad likes knowing where I am at all times, it's getting better with age though, he asks fewer questions each year," Selene mused, "maybe he's getting old,"

Zoran snorted, "Or maybe mom chewed his ass about 'smothering' you. She's complained about that - that he's a bit controlling sometimes, but that he's also a nice man so she'll train him out of it."

"Ah, was that it? Nice, tell your mom I said thanks...you know... if we ever see her again..." Selene trailed off, suddenly very sad,

Zoran turned over on his stomach, and laid his head on his bent arm at the joint of his elbow, "I'm sure we will. I just hope it won't take too long ... if we don't get back soon, I'm afraid mom will probably find a way here to scold me," Zoran said, his voice a little too forlorn to sound very convincing.

"Dad doesn't really scold. He gives very disappointed lectures." Selene sighed, sounding like she would very much like to hear one right at that moment.

A moment of silence passed between them but it only lasted that moment because Selene was pulling herself back onto her butt and sat down facing Zoran, who looking slightly startled at the sudden movement.

"This is crap! Tell me what I need to know. You're a nerd, you probably wrote this fanfiction." She said, looking very determined.

Zoro slowly pushed himself up on his elbows, looking over his shoulder and up in Selene's determined face,

"Alright."

So Zoran spent the majority of the rest of the evening explaining to Selene what  _Naruto_  was all about; about the dangers and people and events. By the time he was finished, the overwhelmed expression on her face didn't seem to fade.

"Okay, so I get chakra, I think, the whole...kekkei what not thing is beyond me, I really don't wanna know about future events so whatever on that front. I wanna do the cool magic tricks though," Selene said.

"Well, whatever, at least you get the basics I guess. And they're not  _magic tricks_. They're called Jutsu - at least use the right term." Zoran sighed, a bit exasperated from her litany of questions, "And you probably won't ever be able to do things like that - neither of us will from what I can guess. We're far too old for that."

Selene frowned (read: pouted) "What kind of bullshit reason is that for anything?"

"You've got to unlock the core," Zoran rolled his eyes, "Ninja do that when they're kids - like, 8 or something when they start the academy. Some before even then. I'm pretty sure it's for a reason - most of the reasons though are fanon so ..."

"Sure...whatever, so...there's not point in us being here then, find a way home quick," She demanded, looking at him all expectantly.

Zoran just raised a brow, the right one to be exact,

"Sure, next time I fall into the ocean during a storm I'll magically find a space-time portal and pop out on the cruise ship without anyone the wiser."

Selene pouted for real this time and flopped back down on the pillow...

"So I guess we're stuck here then?" She sighed.

Zoran gave a noncommittal hum and stared up into the dark as he rolled on his back. This would be hard, that's for sure. Zoran just hoped that everything would turn out alright in the end ... it just had to. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember to comment, kudos, and subscribe to let us know what you think! (:


	6. Chapter 6

_**Chapter 6** _

**Enjoy (:**

* * *

 

 

Tsunami came up to check on them soon after and found them splayed out on the futon in different directions, staring up at the ceiling blankly.

"Um, do you two want to come down for dinner?" she asked hesitantly and Selene's head shot up,

"Yes please! Dear god I am starving!" She exclaimed, shooting up from the floor with more energy than she'd had all day.

Zoran wasn't far behind her, and stood rapidly from the floor, almost losing his balance when Selene shoved him out of her way.

"Food's good," Zoran muttered as he slipped past Tsunami after Selene, giving a wince as his thigh gave a particularly painful twinge.

Selene trailed after him, trying not to run because she wanted to look more mature but she was also very hungry and running for food was basically her thing.

The meal was pretty boring in Zoran's opinion - Naruto and Sasuke competed over who would eat the most (they both got sick in the end), Sakura was being a complete idiot (as usual) and everyone else just ... was normal.

Of course, at the end of the meal, Zoran was hard pressed to actually make any effort to move, having not eaten much in a while and it was just so good.

Selene had given up on eating the moment Sasuke and Naruto had vomited because she was human and couldn't eat through something that disgusting.

Instead, she chatted and laughed and made fun of everyone; especially Sasuke, who seemed to have the least reaction to her, which made her more determined to get a reaction out of him.

"Hey, hey, Sasuke, why are a group of Uchihas not called a Sharin-gang? Because they're all Sharin-gone!" She burst out laughing as everyone shifted around awkwardly.

Zoran snorted into his drink, very aware how his face was flushing, "Oh _mygod Selene! -_ I MEAN YUUHI! You don't just - you don't  _say things like that_ -" he says if he wasn't trying to keep his laughter in too.

Selene stuck her tongue out at him, "Oh please, it's not that bad. Want to hear another one?" She asked eagerly,

Zoran shakes his head rapidly, "Oh god, no. You'll make the stupid Chi-er ..." Zoran nervously shifts, glancing over Selene's shoulder toward Kakashi's seat. Selene grinned widely,

"Is that one a no go? It's not as bad as the Sharin-gone one I don't think?" She said and Kakashi leaned forward,

"I don't think it's very appropriate," he said quietly, glancing to Sasuke's now thunderous face,

"Yeah yeah, sorry kiddo," she said, reaching over to ruffle Sasuke's hair but he ducked away from her way too quickly.

Zoran just sighs and pinches his nose, trying to keep himself from developing more than just a mild headache (they didn't have painkillers specifically made for them here, he didn't think).

Of course, that turned out to be futile, because Sakura had to open her mouth and ask about a ripped picture in a frame hung on the far wall, not even in the immediate vicinity.

Selene hadn't even noticed the photo frame, and to be honest, even if she had she wouldn't have thought much of it - at least not enough to ask. But she saw the way the entire family tensed up when Sakura asked about the photo, in a different way to Sasuke getting mad over her puns.

"Um..I don't think -" She tried to speak up but Sakura was already firing off her questions, blinking up at Tsunami innocently, completely unaware of the sudden change in atmosphere.

Zoran wasn't so quick to give up, finding himself leaning over Selene toward the opposite side of the table, "You know," when he spoke it cut through Sakura's vaguely insulting tirade, "you really should keep your thoughts to yourself. It's none of your business - and even if it  _was_ , you have no right to be so rude about it -"

Zoran knew the look on his face was  _probably_  the one he wore when was gearing up for a tournament from the way the kid flinched back, but by this point, his patience had run far too thin,

"Asking questions about an  _obviously_  touchy subject is so rude I don't even -" he never did finish his sentence because Selene slapped her hand over his mouth and bodily shoved him back  _out_  of her space.

"Can you actually absorb some chill into your soul and get the fuck out of my bubble," she snapped, Sakura looked flushed, both embarrassed and upset, and was staring at her feet like a scolded child.

"I'm - I'm sorry, I didn't think," she sniffled and Naruto leaped to his feet and flinched at the pain in his muscles as he limped over to her,

"Sakura-chan, you okay?! Don't cry!" He exclaimed before wheeling around to glare at Zoran, "you made her cry!" he accused.

Zoran gave Naruto the flattest, most blank expression he could muster - ignoring the sharp pinch of Selene's nails on his bicep. He didn't actually say anything (he really didn't want to get into a fight with a 12-year-old boy) but he was pretty sure his complete lack of care came across pretty clearly.

"Oh don't worry, it's fine. Thank you, Asahi, but I do want to share this story with all of you," Tsunami said, smiling sadly.

Zoran just shrugged, "Well, I'm gonna go lay down anyway ... I really appreciate dinner Tsunami-san, it was delicious," he turned toward the rest of the room and gave a very shallow, not really respectful, bow, "I'll see you in the morning."

Selene stared at his retreating back and debated following him but she was also super curious about this story...so after a hesitant moment, she sat back down at the dinner table and stared up expectantly at Tsunami but it was Tazuna who spoke.

She told the story of her brave husband and the evil mob boss Gato who killed him as an example to everyone else; she probably would have cried if this had been a movie. Instead, she was so immersed that she jumped when Inari slammed his chair back and screamed some emo shit and got yelled at by Naruto before running away.

"Whoo, didn't think you had it in you, kid," Selene said, ruffling Naruto's hair. Naruto shook her off but gave her a little side-smile and headed to the door,

"Whoa there, where do you think you're headed," Selene said, holding him back by the back of his orange jacket's collar.

"I'm going to train! I'll show Inari what a real hero is!" Naruto exclaimed and Selene rolled her eyes,

"Real heroes don't commit slow suicide by working themselves to the bone, mate," she told him but let him go anyway, "I'll come with, you need a babysitter," she told him and was out of the door before he could protest.

To be honest Selene was just a total sucker for sob stories and the classic hero vs villain dynamic.

Zoran on the other hand was sitting on the futon in the room he and Selene had originally woken up in with his back against the wood paneling of the wall.

He was thinking about pretty much everything - mostly about his family. He'd always really hated the way Sakura was about the whole 'Gato' thing in the anime because he hated when people to ask about things like that.

His dad was long dead, but as a kid, other kids would always ask "why don't you have a dad" and it always made him feel this small. He was really irrational and out of line earlier that evening ... he should  _probably_  apologize to the family for that.

... And Sakura. Even though he didn't like her, she  _was_  a 12-year-old girl and he'd made her cry.

So Zoran sat there for a while, waiting on Selene to get back (because he didn't want to go to sleep before her, she'd probably draw on his face if he did). But when she'd not turned up a few hours later, Zoran decided it was about time he investigate (she couldn't have gone far after all).

It wasn't that he was  _worried_  or anything, he just liked to know that she was alive. Mostly. But when he'd made it down the stairs (after making sure Selene wasn't hauled up in the bathroom first, of course), Zoran was met with the sight of 3 out of 4 members of Team 7 all sitting around the table.

Sakura had misty eyes downcast to the tabletop and Sasuke had a pretty good poker face on and their team leader with a literal mask of apathy.

Charming.

At the sound of Zoran's arrival, both Sasuke and Sakura glanced over their shoulders at him but quickly looked away. Kakashi however, caught and held Zoran's gaze. It wasn't an expectant look or even remotely encouraging either, it was just blank and bored and  _really_ unnerving.

"Uh ... well," Zoran scratched at the back of his head head, feeling very awkward, "I wanted to apologize for earlier this evening. I was, uh, out of line. And, uh .. I didn't mean to make anyone upset."

Kakashi glanced pointedly to Sakura, who was looking very uncertain as she got to her feet, then she smiled slightly,

"It's okay, Asahi-san, no harm done," she said smiling brightly.

Zoran gave a grin back, "Ah, thanks. I'm, uh ... gonna go look for Se-er, Yuuhi now. Have a nice night..."

He didn't run away, but he did leave as fast as he could because, wow,  _awkward_.

* * *

 

Deep in the forest, Selene was sat under a tree, on Naruto's jacket, watching him try to climb trees in the most ridiculous way possible.

"You know, a kid like you shouldn't be up so late, don't you have a bedtime?" She called out to him and Naruto bristled,

"I'm not a kid-ttebayo!" He exclaimed, and Selene rolled her eyes,

"You're literally like 10." She told him dryly and ignored any other outburst, her conscious wouldn't let her leave a little kid alone in the forest, and it wasn't like she had anything to do either, so she settled down against the tree for a nap.

"Shout if you need me," She called to Naruto before drifting off to sleep.

* * *

 

Turns out, that never happened and Zoran was stressed. Not only did he not find Selene the night before, but after his shit attempt at sleep (because he was far too anxious to really sleep at this point) he's realized that Selene never actually made it back to the house.

Zoran was not okay with that ... it was pretty obvious. So much so that even the bridge builders grandkid noticed Zoran's continued anxious pacing and foot tapping.

"She's an old lady. Quit pacing!" Inari snapped at him

Zoran didn't seem to hear the kid, far too busy trying to keep himself from leaving the house and scour the forest like an idiot.

It was only when Sasuke stood up to go on his alleged walk after breakfast, that Zoran felt a little relief and was shoving on his shoes and going after him, without even asking.

"What are you doing?" Sasuke asked when he noticed Zoran walking behind him.

"Going outside," the  _obviously_  was left unsaid but not unheard and Sasuke paused, looking torn between saying something mean and ignoring Zoran, in the end, it seemed he opted for the second optional and turned back around to walk away.

Zoran followed after the angsty teen with little trepidation, far too focused on his own mind. He wasn't as observant tho, to not notice when Sasuke paused.

He finally started to pay attention to the world around him and noticed a  _far too pretty_  person in front of them. Obviously, this was Haku - the anime really didn't do him justice. If Zoran wasn't into men older than him (specifically in their 20's) and  _wasn't_  completely turned off by the kid's subservient attitude, Zoran would totally have tried to flirt.

But Zoran wasn't fucked in the head enough to do that ... that didn't mean Zoran kept his mouth shut tho (as he ought to have).

"Woah ... you're hella pretty. If I wasn't into older, more manly men, I'd probably have been a stuttering wreck," Zoran blurted out, not really thinking before he spoke.

The pretty boy flushed a little, looking both confused and flattered and Selene, who had woken up from the sound of Zoran's voice, was looking at them with a severe case of second-hand embarrassment. "I can't  _believe..._." she buried her face in her hands, blushing  _for_  Zoran, who looked too starstruck to be embarrassed.

Zoran's semi-glazed eyes slid over her and he suddenly didn't seem to care about Haku's presence anymore. Far too occupied in storming his way over and suitably lecturing her about leaving before telling him where she was going because  _oh my god I was on the verge of a heart attack!_

Selene's eyes widened, she was still sat on Naruto's jacket who was splayed out somewhere a little further away, and from her position on the floor, Zoran's storming figure looked very threatening and annoying at the same time.

"I didn't do it!" She shrieked as he halted in front of her, staring up at him with her widest most innocent eyes.

Zoran looked down at her unimpressed, not even affected by the ploy, " _Selene Antonia Thorncliffe, I_ _swear_ _-"_ But a sharp voice cut him off.

"... Who is  _Selene_?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember to comment, kudos, and subscribe to let us know what you think! (:


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoran and Selene get reprimanded because MCR and Physical Fitness.   
> Also, freakouts are totally acceptable.

**Chapter 7**

**Enjoy (:**

* * *

 

 

“So, your name is Selene, and your name is Zoran? And you come from a different dimension?” Kakashi asked looking thoroughly done with life. It was long past dinner time, and the table had been set, but no one had been able to eat, because apparently, interdimensional travel was more important than food.

 

Selene and Zoran were both sat on the sofa, curling in on themselves in embarrassment and everyone else was standing around them in varying degrees of anger and confusion.

 

“It was Zoran’s idea to lie!” Selene suddenly burst out, pointing at him, his head shot up and sent her the most withering glare.

 

“Okay, yah, but come on!” He flailed his arms a little in his anxiousness, “This is a place that _reeks_ of _death_ … and I for one, _do_ _not_ want to die.” He punctuated his sentence with crossing his arms over his chest and glaring in defiance. 

 

He looked like a pouting child mostly, and Selene scoffed, she hadn’t wanted to lie about anything from the beginning, so what if there was a possibility of dying? People died all the time it wasn’t anything new. Though she was probably only thinking like that because she somehow knew these people wouldn’t hurt them.

 

“This is crazy! You don’t believe them do you, Kakashi-sensei? How can there be other dimensions?” Sakura exclaimed. Kakashi frowned, he knew of the Sharingan, of space-time ninjutsu, of what was possible if someone simply had the vast chakra and skill to do it. But even this was testing his limits. 

 

“So...how do you propose to get back to...this dimension of yours?” Kakashi asked, for now, he would go along with them, if there was any kind of inconsistency in their story, he would apprehend them and call for backup so they could be taken for question immediately.

 

Zoran exchanged worried glances with Selene, curling even further into themselves as if that were possible.  Of course, that was the question that they’d ask first - not ‘how’d you get here’ or ‘what is this other dimension like’ - the easier questions just couldn't be asked first. 

 

“Oh, um,” Zoran muttered, running a hand aggressively through his hair, “we don’t  _ actually _ know …” 

 

“What the hell? Kakashi-sensei! Are you sure they’re not just making it up!? Right Sakura-chan?” Naruto asked, glancing to Sakura eagerly because he wanted her to know he was on her side. 

 

“Oh for fuck’s sake! If you like her, grow a spine and ask her out! If you get rejected then move on, you’re being pathetic! Both of you!” Selene burst out, looking from Sakura to Naruto.

 

“You’re doing great, Sasuke, I’m proud of you,” Zoran added, not at all offended by the strange looks shot at him from everyone in the room. 

 

“Also,” he added, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees, “I don’t _genuinely_ _care_ if you don’t believe us - trust me, it’d be for the best if you didn’t, I’m sure it’d damage your brains to even conjure up Interdimensional Travel and that the Multiverse Theory isn’t actually _inaccurate_ \- I _do_ , however, care about the fact that I want to go home and if we can’t get there I’m condemning _all of you_ … except Sasuke.” 

 

It was said in such a nice voice and with such a sweet smile that Selene physically flinched away from him. Zoran wasn’t  _ sweet _ . And he also was getting pretty agitated if he started talking about  _ science  _ nerdy things and using big words and Selene didn’t want that either.

 

“What he  _ means  _ to say is, we would be mighty grateful if you would forget about what is possible and not for a few minutes so you could perhaps help us come up with a way to get home? That way we would be out of your hair and we can all pretend this never happened?” Selene said gently, pinching Zoran’s uninjured thigh.

 

“Well, I can’t say it isn’t a possibility. But what could we even do to help?” Kakashi asked. He was looking directly at Selene, who looked to Zoran, who looked kinda lost, but then clarity began to soon enter his eyes, and he looked excited and anxious all at once.

 

Zoran actually stood from the couch and started to pace behind it, all the while thinking aloud, 

 

“Okay, so it was storming right, when all this shit happened?  And we were on the ocean so obviously it’s worse because waves and shit, and Selene and I were on the deck -” he mumbled a bit under his breath as he continued to pace - hobble really - until he stopped moving and leaned on the back of the sofa, both hands clenching on the dated fabric, ignoring the thud of the crutch falling to the ground.

 

“The ocean,” it was said in such a way that everyone finally looked at him with something other than freaked out amusement, “we fell into the ocean.  While it was pms-ing.  _ In the Bermuda Triangle _ .” He then looked right into Selene’s eyes, 

 

“It’s like, the most cliche fucking thing ever, but I swear to god there’s actual magic bullshit going on and the Bermuda Triangle is the reason we’re here.   _I swear to god_ Selene if we end up falling into the ocean - the same one we were popped out of, during another storm we  _ might _ be able to get back … maybe.” He let his head fall down between his hands on the couch which muffled his “probably.”

 

Selene stared at him for a moment, and you could see her mental journey on her face, confusion, to disbelief, to frustration, to understanding, then to determination.

 

“Fuck this. Let's go.” She declared standing up.

 

“Famous last words,” Tazuna muttered, taking another gulp from his mysterious bottle.

 

Zoran snorted and muttered  _ ‘I am not afraid to keep on living’ _ and Selene’s neck snapped to him so hard she flinched. 

 

“I am disowning you. Right here. Right now. How  _ dare _ you do that in public!?” She looked genuinely affronted, “You just accosted my ears!” 

 

“How  _ dare _ !” Zoran gasped dramatically, “You  _ dare  _ you diss MCR like that?!” he was slouching in front of her now, one hand on his crutch, having blindly grabbed it in his attempt to not lean on the sofa - and slapped the other over his heart with the most extra disapproving look on his face. 

 

“Don’t you how dare me?! I how dared you first!” Selene snapped, “MCR is a relic from the past that should never be brought up in front of the ignorant and unsuspecting!” She waved a hand to everyone else in the room, “Don’t you dare break the sacred bond of the emo phase!” Selene declared.

 

Zoran narrowed his eyes at her, “Tazuna is to blame, you can’t  _ not _ finish when someone starts it!” he finally sat back down, thankful for the lack of pain in his dead leg as he did, “and not to mention, I went through a  _ scene phase _ , thank you!”

 

Selene rolled her eyes, “It’s the _same thing_ you fucking _elitist_! And you Tazuna! Don’t make references you don’t understand!” She snapped,

 

“Weren’t you guys going somewhere?” Sasuke asked a little impatiently and they both glanced at him, then each other,

 

“Aw, thanks for reminding us sweetcheeks,” Selene smiled, “Anyway, the point of this is, we need to take a dive. Let’s go,” She was on her feet, heading outside but Kakashi blocked the door.

 

“Sorry, but that’s not going to happen.  You both need to finish healing, and we can find a better, more permanent way to make sure you guys get home.”

 

Zoran sighed, he should have known - these were ninja after all, they were curious and stuck their noses in places they really weren’t needed and probably wanted to do some kind of test shit with him and Selene and oh jeez, there goes his anxiety. 

 

Selene on the other hand, looked him straight in the eyes and squared up to him, “Oh _move old man_ , worse comes to worse we drown or some shit, best case scenario, we end up home, I don’t see the problem here,” She said, 

 

“Wait...Do you not know how to swim?” Zoran asked incredulously. Selene glanced back to him,

 

“I know how to...float…I’ve been in pools!” She offered, “I just don’t think humans are supposed to be underwater, you know? Evolution didn’t give us gills for a reason? Why do you think mermaids became extinct,” 

 

“Jimbe wouldn’t agree, but still, that’s why you  _ learn to swim _ .  There’s a reason we have muscles - you  _ use them _ .” Zoran rolled his eyes in exasperation, not having to look at her face to know she had a defiant look. 

 

“Don’t  _ you  _ talk muscles with me?! I  _ won  _ gymnastics medals! I’m a  _ cheerleader _ ! I did  _ ballet _ ! I use my muscles on the  _ earth _ ! Like humans are  _ supposed  _ to!” She snapped. 

 

“And I take _Hapkido_ _and_ _Aikido_ and _actually_ swam _competitively_ , you don’t think I know muscles?!  Wow, you’re _so rude._ ” He wasn’t sure if he should be offended at the look of confusion and surprise on her face, or if he should feel smug that she wasn’t laughing.

 

“But you swam and did Hapdiko or whatever to avoid getting  _ FAT _ ! I did because I had actual  _ talent _ ! I got scouted by sports teams! I got scholarships! So fuck you!” Selene looked awfully smug at how offended Zoran got. 

 

“Okay, but!  I do good in school, I’ve got _scholarships_ to top-notch universities and colleges.  I’ve got schools _asking me_ to join them because I _don’t_ _study_.  I take martial arts and swim and shit because, yeah, I don’t wanna get _fat_ , but it’s also _fun_!  HAVING FUN IS A GOOD THING, OKAY!?” Zoran wasn’t babbling, he _wasn’t_. 

 

“AND ANOTHER THING!! It’s  _ Hapkido, _ NOT  _ Hapdiko -  _ it sounds like a weird dildo, honestly.”

 

“NO IT SOUNDS LIKE AN STD! And so does  _ every single one _ of your talents!” Selene was full on yelling now, “AND ANOTHER THING -”

 

“ENOUGH!” Tsunami’s scream boomed through the house and both Selene and Zoran turned to her, very afraid. “That is enough! From both of you! You’ll sleep in separate rooms tonight! Go!” She ordered, 

 

“GOOD!” Selene snapped but Zoran was looking around the room a little confused,

 

“But what about dinner?” He asked in a small voice and Tsunami’s eyes were glowing in anger,

 

“No dinner! GO TO YOUR ROOMS!” Selene scrambled up to her feet and was out of the door before Zoran had even stood up and slowly dragged himself to his room, occasionally sending longing glances to the dining table. 

 

“So unfair,” he muttered under his breath, low enough no one heard, “keeping food away from growing boys, it’s blasphemy.”

 

He continued to pout like a child until he was in his room and curled up in the corner, too stressed to sleep but had no more energy to complain outwardly.  It was going to be a long night.

 

Selene stormed into her own room, kicking down the door as she went and punched the blankets that had been piled up in the corner. She was still annoyed, her dad was going to kill her, she would be dead and gone and no one would hear from her again, she _needed_ to get back. She contemplated sneaking out of the window, but she wasn’t sure how well that would go in a houseful of literal ninja. It was then that she looked around the room and groaned.

 

She would be sharing with Sakura. She wasn’t in the mood for babysitting at all. She pulled out one of the blankets and lay it atop the tatami mats; maybe if she pretended to be asleep, Sakura would be quiet too.

 

Downstairs, Team 7 had all sat in their places around the table finally, silent and contemplative.  On the one hand, they weren’t quite sure what the fight had even been _about_ , but on the other hand, Tsunami was actually kind of scary? Naruto was very confused - was this what moms were like?  Were they all this scary?  Because Naruto didn’t want to make Tsunami mad - at all. And Sasuke, he was just … confused.  And a little creeped out, honestly.  

 

“Well, that went well,” Kakashi smiled and Sakura bristled,

 

“Kakashi-sensei! They can’t really have come from a different world right? That’s impossible!” She asked Kakashi sighed,

 

“I don’t know. From what I could see, they weren’t lying, at least not intentionally. It could be some kind of genjutsu on them, or they could simply be a pair of very confused teenagers. I don’t know,” He repeated.

 

“Are we really going to dump them in the sea-ttebayo?” Naruto asked, he had grown a little fond of them,

 

“No, we need to take them back to Konoha for questioning. We’ll be able to properly tell if they’re lying once we’re there,” He replied. “With that in mind, keep an eye on them, all of you, don’t let them sneak away.” 

**Author's Note:**

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